Iron Mike – Gruntworks resident motivational speaker
Assholes to elbows you un-evolved troglodyte fuck nuts! It’s motherfuckin’ story time!
Today you’re likely to see throngs of people – no, not people, leftist filth – marching in the streets decrying the evils of ‘Nationalism’ with the same vacant uncritical expression on their faces. As if being an ardent patriot of your home country and your people makes you some sort of morally lesser human being. These erudite degenerates, smug in their own warped morality chant in unison that most Orwellian of political phrases they have been programmed with like the mindless automatons they are: “Diversity is out strength!”. Well boys, that is horse shit of the most malodorous variety. ‘Diversity’ is not a strength. It is a weakness. It is dysfunction. It is the fracturing of our social cohesion and shared culture. It is a decaying of social trust. It is chaos and disorder. Unity is our strength. Our American national motto is “E Pluribus Unum” – From many, One. From many peoples and cultures, we forged a oneness anew. One nation. One principle of limited government. One Constitution enshrining the social contract between the rights of the governed and the duties of the government. One shared English language. One belief in liberty. A shared set of principles and tenets that would guide our nation to the highest apex ever achieved by human civilization. A nation that put men on the moon; that defeated tyranny across the globe and liberated the oppressed; a nation that righted its own moral failings even when that called for fire and blood.
Today that strength and cohesion built upon generations of warriors and statesmen representing the highest of enlightenment ideals of society and governance is under assault from globalists and their mindless minions who sit aloof in their ivory towers segregated from the realities of this world by their comfortable lives and a television set that hides the truth from them. They have been trained to hate their country, to hate the men that built it and the ideals they espoused. They hate the patriot and his nobility for cause and country – they call him “Nazi!” for opposing their schemes for open borders and plans for the generous gifts to foreigners they plan to give with the patriot’s tax dollars. The new globalist left labels him ‘Nazi’ because of his nationalism and pride. Feelings they do not share, and so it scares them to see him defend them so. The degenerates look to the words ‘National Socialist German Worker’s Party’ (Nationalsozialistiche Deutsche Arbeiterpartei from which we get the contraction ‘Nazi’) and point to the word ‘National’ as the problem… Meanwhile these useful-idiot leftist apparatchiks completely ignore the real problems with that totalitarian ideology and its titular political organization; namely ‘Socialist’ and ‘Worker’s Party’. Those are the parts of the ideology those insufferable ‘Social Justice Warriors’ just can’t bring themselves to criticize… probably because they sound familiar to totalitarian communist ears.
The left hates nationalism because it stands in the way of their utopian idealism with the cold pragmatic and sometimes harsh reality of the world: people are different and they prefer to be with those who are like them. Those who share their homeland, their language, their culture, and their values. If only these “selfish and hateful” people would forego their own innate survival instincts to group together around their shared identity and submit to the glorious global revolution of multicultural, diverse, and enriching Socialism. Then everything would be perfect, like Star Trek or Harry Potter or whichever grade school-level work of total fiction from pop culture that indulgent morons have gravitated to this week for political guidance because the man on the TV screen told them to. Like all leftist causes in the 21st Century, it is the weak inferior men who squeal the loudest in their complaints about the evils of ‘Nationalism’. The green-haired, slack-jawed, noodle-armed bespectacled soy-boys with pronated shoulders from your local liberal arts college’s most pretentious drum circle will march and bitch and moan about all those ‘evil’ patriots with hair on their chests who dared pick up a rifle and travel thousands of miles from home to fight (and if necessary die) to protect the United States (and the world in general) from jihadists after 9/11. These lesser males have no pride in themselves, and rightfully so. They are incapable of doing their duty as men to defend their people against the other or protect their home against the invader. So, in a disgusting and petulant case of ‘Sour Grapes’ these spineless sycophants purport to shit all over everything they can never be for the fleeting social affirmation that comes with being weak and petulant among leftist circles. They hate a country that will never admire them because they are incapable of service to it. They hate the people who stand for causes because they stand for nothing. They hate the people who died for something because they will die for nothing. They hate their country and want it destroyed by hordes of foreign invaders because they’ve been conditioned to feel good about such opinions by a class of socialist elites who seek power by usurping the national identity of the countries they mean to rule in totality. Today’s story is how to be better men than this degenerate filth; better men who fight for their people, their family, and their nation. Today’s story is about a man whose vision of uniting his people under a common identity, with a common government, and to drive out the foreign invaders who ruled over him and his kind with the assistance of a duplicitous class of elites. Today’s story is about one of the greatest generals of the 19th Century; who stands among Napoleon Bonaparte, Helmuth Von Moltke, Robert E. Lee, Simon Bolivar, and Arthur Wellesley as one of the greatest generals of his era. A man who wanted nothing more than freedom and prosperity for his country and his people; and who would stop at mothing to get it, Goddamnit. Today’s story is about the Italian Nationalist who helped create the unified Italy that still exists today, Giuseppe Garibaldi.
Now the Italians have not been known for much in the centuries following the decline of the Roman Empire. In fact, for the last hundred years they’ve been in constant competition with the French for the title of: “Worst Soldiers in Europe”. The Italians got their asses whipped by Ethiopians with spears in 1896, surrendered to a British Army 1/5th their size in 1940, had to be bailed out by the Nazis during their invasion of Greece in 1941, and have spent most of the time since World War Two trying to avoid any military commitments to their allies in NATO lest they get embarrassed on the battlefield again. If it doesn’t involve high-performance sports cars, pasta, or fashionable leather accessories, chances are Italy is probably terrible at it. That wasn’t always the case however… Mostly because from the fall of Rome until 1861, Italy wasn’t even a single country. Instead it was a collection of rival city-states and provinces who were as likely to align with foreign invaders against one another as they were with their ethnic brothers in neighboring lands. This system was not working for the Italian people. While much of Europe had transitioned from Duchies and Kingdoms into the Nation-states that still (mostly) exist today and this new country called “The United States” was becoming a world power over in North America, the Italians were still mostly small principalities constantly fighting small wars with one another in between being invaded by just about every other fucking country in Europe. The Spanish, Austro-Hungarians, French, and even the Papal States (yeah, the fucking Pope used to have his own country) had all invaded the various small kingdoms of the Italian peninsula at some point in the 1800’s. However, it was Napoleon’s conquest of Northern Italy that had inspired the most profound change on the Italian peninsula. With Napoleon’s troops came the ideas about a shared national identity, unified nationalism, and patriotism – ideas that eventually found their way to a new group of Italian thinkers, statesmen, and revolutionaries. These ‘radicals’ who envision a unified, prosperous, and free Italian Republic based in the ideals of the Enlightenment and 19th Century Romanticism. Their founder was a man named Giuseppe Mazzini (there’s actually a lot of guys named ‘Giuseppe’ in Italy by the way) who codified his ideals of Nationalism in this quote:
“Love your country. Your country is the land where your parents sleep, where is spoken that language in which the chosen of your heart, blushing, whispered the first word of love; it is the home that God has given you that by striving to perfect yourselves therein you may prepare to ascend to him.”
The movement called themselves La Giovine Italia (The Young Italians), one of the young men swept up in this grand revolutionary sentiment was the humble son of a Nizzardo merchant named Garibaldi.
Giuseppe Garibaldi was born in what is today Nice, France on July 4th, 1807. Presumably sharing a birthday with America was ordained by Christ himself in order to give him a cosmic raging freedom-boner for the rest of his life. Giuseppe spent his youth learning the trade of a seafaring merchant like his father before him and sailed to places all around the Mediterranean Sea. He met expatriated Italians in foreign lands who introduced him to the masculine ideals of Nationalism, Patriotism, and Classical Liberalism (that’s the type concerned with individual rights, not the neo-Marxist bullshit ‘Liberals’ (RE: Socialists) stand for now); and he began his involvement with the secret Young Italian society. Now, I can’t possibly cover the entirety of Italian Unification in the span of a few pages. The intricate complexities of treaties, agreements, political intrigue, leadership changes, and warfare is the subject of entire collegiate history and political science curriculums, but what I can tell you is that none of that shit ever happens without this guy Garibaldi. He’s the will and the means behind the whole goddamn thing. To better understand what I mean by the complexities of Italian Unification, understand that even within the movements who wanted it, there were drastically different ideas about how to achieve it. Some Italians were of the idea that a unified Italy should be a Federal Republic like the United States or ancient Rome, some wanted a Confederacy, others a Monarchy; but whatever a unified nation looked like, Garibaldi was going to fight for it. …and fight he did.
Beginning in 1833 Giuseppe Garibaldi was a member of a failed revolt in the Italian principality of Piedmont against the rule of the Austrians and their Hapsburg Dynasty who controlled large swaths of lands inhabited by Italian-speaking people and influenced the politics across the Italian peninsula through their various schemes and alliances with the ruling elites. The revolt failed badly and Garibaldi was forced into exile, in which he was sentenced to death in absentia by the Austrians. Not content to just move away he fucked off to Brazil where he heard there was some revolutions brewing. He participated in a freedom movement in Brazil that became known as the “Ragamuffin War”. It was during this war that he met a smoking hot Brazilian woman of Italian descent with a fat ass and a rockin’ pair of tits (probably) and married her. Ana Ribeiro da Silva, better known as “Anita” exposed him to the Gaucho culture of the South American cowboys – skilled horsemen who had a fierce reputation as valiant guerrilla fighters whenever they were imposed upon. It is from this culture that Giuseppe gained his skills in tactics, his hard-fighting frontiersman attitude, and his signature Red Shirts that he would wear for the rest of his life – the emblem of his band of fighters. Garibaldi would cut his teeth in combat again as the leader of a faction of Italian fighters in neighboring Uruguay during their civil war. Charging into battle waving the black flag (which represented Italy in mourning) his Red Shirts fought for about 6 years to defend the Uruguayan Colorados against the forces of then-President Manuel Oribe – achieving several major victories for the independence movement with his guerilla army of Italian Legionnaires between 1846 and 1848. Eventually Uruguay would achieve independence in 1851. If there were people anywhere in the world who wanted some goddamn freedom and their own homeland for their people, Giuseppe Garibaldi was going to go help them fight for it Goddamnit!
However badly he wanted to stay to see Uruguay win out, in 1848 another revolution was brewing in his homeland and Garibaldi returned to Italy with around 100 of his famed gaucho fighters. In 1848 he shopped his services as a military leader to numerous monarchs of the various Italian states vying for independence from Austrian and French dominion, but was largely rebuffed by monarchs suspicious of his intents. Later that same year began the First Italian War for Independence… If you apply a touch of critical thinking to that title, you’ll quickly deduce that it was not going to be the last and probably get an idea about how it turned out. Garibaldi and his men fought valiantly and he won several minor victories against the Austrians, but the might of the Hapsburgs was still too much for the disorganized and disunified Italian states. During this campaign, his beloved wife Anita died of Malaria, on her deathbed he swore to her that he would see Italy unified and free or die trying. The Austrians captured the major city of Milan by the end of 1848 and had crushed the entire revolution by 1849. Prince Charles-Albert of the Kingdom of Piedmont-Sardinia was forced to abdicate his throne to Victor Emmanuelle II (this will be important later) and Garibaldi fled through Switzerland and would spend the next few years a fugitive of the Austrian empire.
Garibaldi spent his second exile traveling around the literal world. He would explore much of the world as a trader and merchant, stopping every few months to stay with other Italian nationalists in exile for extended periods of time. He even worked in a candle factory in Staten Island, New York – the house he stayed in is on the U.S. National Register of Historic Places as the Garibaldi Memorial. He traveled to Peru, China, and Manila working as a merchant, but once rumors of Italian Nationalism started brewing again, he was headed straight back to his homeland.
In 1854, he returned to Italy upon the death of his brother. He collected an inheritance and decided to take up farming on a small island north of Sardinia until things got a little more interesting. By 1859 the Second Italian War for Independence broke out – again it would not be the last – and Garibaldi returned to Piedmont-Sardinia to accept a commission as a Major General and raise an army. His famous Red Shirts against rode out and he quickly raised up a group of men calling themselves the Cacciatori delle Alpi (Hunters of the Alps) to go wreak all kinds of fucking havoc for the Austrians. This time the Italians fared better than they had in 1848. The cause of Italian Unification had become far more popular and resentment against foreign rule had grown a great deal due to heavy taxation imposed to pay for the many expensive wars going on at the time. Since this time the Italians of the Kingdom of Piedmont-Sardinia had the backing of the French they war ended in a resounding victory and Garibaldi’s reputation as a skilled general and guerilla army leader grew even greater. The Austrians ceded territory to the Italians, but in turn the Italians ceded territory to the French – including Garibaldi’s home city of Nice (Nizzardo). You can imagine there was some minor disagreement about that outcome between the Italian ministers, King Victor Emmanuelle II, and the most dangerous General on the Italian Peninsula…
Garibaldi stormed off, said “Fuck it, we’re doing this my way” in Italian (probably) and brought his army to Southern Italy to continue raising hell and uniting the Italian people.
Not one for the intricacies of political maneuvering and treaties, Garibaldi made a decision: unite the people NOW, figure out the details later. Victor Emmanuelle II would be their king, Italian would be their language, Rome was to be their capital, and they would be “Free from the Alps to the Adriatic”. Time to go fuck shit up. Southern Italy was already in a state of pseudo-civil war, what’s a little more chaos for a good cause? The Neapolitan Government and the peasantry were in arms with one another and ripe for the taking. Garibaldi landed in Sicily and began what became known as the “Campaign of 1860” leading the Expedition of the One Thousand to rouse the common people into revolt against the ruling class and towards unification. It worked. His Red Shirts arrived in Sicily to cheers and applause from the common people.
Shortly after landing, thousands of common Italians were drawn to Garibaldi’s cause. He took a force of 800 men and defeated 1500 Neapolitan soldiers at the Battle of Catalafilmi Hill using a brilliantly orchestrated (and counter-intuitive) uphill bayonet charge. Then marched on Palermo – the Sicilian Capital – with a force of over 10,000 who had joined his cause. He laid siege to the city, but those inside rose up against the Neapolitan Royalists and basically handed the whole fucker over to him in a neat little package. With Palermo in hand, he rallied his troops again, declared himself “Dictator of Sicily” and aimed his next campaign on the Italian mainland. Oh, and he also married some 18-year-old chick (he was 53), but when she told him she was pregnant with another man’s child on their wedding day, he ditched a bitch real fuckin’ quick, like, the day of their wedding quick. When you’re liberating and unifying and entire country for the first time in a thousand years, you don’t have time to deal with stupid bullshit from unscrupulous sluts looking for a stepdad for their fuck trash.
The idea of “my country” inspired Italians across the peninsula and the campaign to unite Southern Italy under this nominal ‘Dictatorship’ and almost everywhere he went, Garibaldi was met by throngs of admirers and fighting men rallying to join his cause. The General addressed his troops during the campaign to the Italian mainland:
“I offer neither pay, nor quarters, nor food; I offer only hunger, thirst, forced marches, battles and death. Let he who loves his country with his heart, and not merely with his lips, follow me!”
Despite this dire warning, over 24,000 fighting men came to fight in his army. By October 1st, 1860 Garibaldi was defeating the last of the Neapolitan Forces at the Battle of Volturno and then united with the Piedmontese Army of King Victor Emmanuelle II by the end of the month. Having seized Naples, united southern Italy, and rallied much of the common people to the cause of unification; Garibaldi ceded his ‘Dictatorship’ (which he never really wanted) and all the lands he controlled to the King. Only the last Papal State of Rome and the city of Venice remained outside Italian control. Venice remained a possession of Austria and the French Army remained in Rome guarding the Pope and his last territorial possession. Italian Unification was nearly complete. With his campaign at a standstill, Garibaldi was offered a Major General’s commission by the United States in 1861 in recognition of his capability as a commander, but turned it down since he would only accept full control of the Army – and the U.S. wasn’t exactly prepared to offer him that. After President Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863, Garibaldi wrote to him:
“Posterity will call you the great emancipator, a more enviable title than any crown could be, and greater than any merely mundane treasure”
During the Austro-Prussian War (AKA – The 7 Weeks War) in 1866, Venice was seized from the Austrians and now only the Papal State of Rome stood in the way of complete unification of the Italian people. By 1870 another war was brewing between France and Prussia and the French army returned home to defend France allowing a short campaign to take the last of the Papal States from the Pope and grant Italy its historical capital city from the days of the Roman Empire. Garibaldi joined in the war on the side of France to lead the Army of the Vosges, volunteers from many nations who wanted to fight against the Germans. His forces fought a superior Prussian force to a draw at the Battle of Dijon, but the French capitulated and Garibaldi eventually returned to Italy.
With Italy united under King Victor Emmanuelle II and much of his fighting years well behind him, Giuseppe Garibaldi retired to his simple life of a farmer and married his longtime mistress Francesca Armosino – with whom he already had 3 children (the dude absolutely slayed tang his whole life by the way). He spent his waning years living simply as he always had, and occasionally giving his opinions on various matters of state and society. He would serve for a while in the new Italian parliament, but lost taste for the political life and did not seek reelection. He left this world in a manner befitting an illustrious old soldier, passing quietly in 1882 surrounded by his family. We should all be so lucky to live and die as he did.
Garibaldi’s legacy is extensive. He is called “The Hero of Two Worlds” for his fighting in both Italy and South America. He is the namesake of no less than 5 Italian warships – including their only Aircraft Carrier. He has monuments built to him from New York to Russia, and Italy to Argentina. He stands among the four men called the Founding Fathers of modern Italy (Giuseppe Garibaldi, Giuseppe Mazzini, King Victor Emmanuelle II, and Camillo Benso – Count of Cavour). His memory still lives on in the minds of the Italian people for his humility, dedication, and desire not for power, but for the wellbeing and freedom of his nation.
This story is about Nationalism and the duty a man should be prepared to offer his nation. A nation is more than laws and borders, it is people. People of a shared identity, a shared belief, and a shared set of values. Nationalism has been inculcated as a dirty word in the minds of the young generation because they have been indoctrinated by leftists in the public-school system that hate everything about their homeland and the men who built it. These globalist ideologues want you broken down as a man and want to see your nation destroyed. You must not let them! You must be a nationalist, a patriot, a Citizen of the American Republic. Learn your nation’s history and its values enshrined in the Constitution. Learn your people’s history and its culture. Do not surrender yourself or your children’s future to the false siren song of Globalist Socialism as many across Europe already have. Build your strength and be prepared to fight for your homeland, the land of your ancestors! Train as if one day it will be you making that uphill bayonet charge for the future of your people… because one day, you might be. You must above all, learn to love your nation and its people. Do these things and you may one day be remembered as Giuseppe Garibaldi is: a hero of your nation, a man who stood in defiance of empires and Popes, a great leader, an icon of personal courage and tenacity, and a lover of many beautiful women.