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Military Humor

TALES FROM THE WOOBIE – CHAPTER 9: The National Guard Sergeant (Part 3) [TRASH LAKE]

He then THREW it all in the lake. He threw all of his fucking household goods IN THE LAKE! It looked like someone took a U-Haul and just dumped it in there. Everything. Coffee tables, couches, recliners…all of it.

It’s been brought to my attention that when you live in post housing, you can’t put furniture or anything outside of the dumpsters within the villages or areas of living. That note is quite important for this fine story.

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Welcome to the FINAL CHAPTER of the National Guard Sergeant series. This is called “Trash Lake.” So, its about 11:30 pm or 2330 on a Saturday night. We’ve got a few people in this story. The MP will be known as MP. The leader who arrives will be known as CPL. And Smoke, well, he’s smoke. And then there is the chief. Not a warrant…a section chief.

So this bad situation kicks off at 2330 on a Saturday night. The first phone call goes out to smoke. Smoke then calls the chief, who is shit house drunk. Finally, we get the CPL on the phone. He’s got to go and pick up Westfield. Why? Because of this. The CPL shows up at the on post housing residence of Westfield. There is an MP there and they have Westfield detained. So, the CPL gets a rundown from the MP.

Tales from the Woobie - 9 - U-HaulWhat has taken place here is that Westfield has basically loaded all of his furniture and household goods and taken them to the lake behind his house. He then THREW it all in the lake. He threw all of his fucking household goods IN THE LAKE! It looked like someone took a U-Haul and just dumped it in there. Everything. Coffee tables, couches, recliners…all of it. The MP then asks for the CPLs ID. He says “you’re just an E-4…he’s an E-5….what are you doing here?” After the explanation, the MP says, and this is a direct quote, “well fuck, this is what I’m dealing with.”

Basically what happened was, this guy is so inept that he can’t be in charge of anything and has to have someone of a lower pay grade…freshly promoted by the way, to CPL, in charge of him. The minute Westfield sees the CPL, he flips out. After a ton of back and forth, the MP gets them calmed down.Tales from the Woobie - 9 - Trash Lake

We now get to the questioning. He basically just wants Westfield to say that he put the stuff in the lake. Because if he put it by the dumpster, he goes to jail. Westfield has stuck to his story of putting it by the dumpster, then he goes to jail. If he just says he put it by the lake, he gets a citation. But no, Westfield admits time and again that he put it in a no dumping zone. He pretty much wants to go to jail. The MP gave him SO MANY chances to get him out of it. Westfield at that point said take me to jail.

Westfield gets handcuffed, and is about to go into the car. The CPL calls smoke. An unknown conversation at this point happens. The MP gets on the phone with smoke. After about 15 minutes the MP hands the phone back to the CPL. And then the sentence…the CPL has to come back the next morning and help Westfield get all of his shit out of the lake.

Ladies and gents, this is why we don’t bring the idiots to active duty with the same rank. Clearly….they can’t handle it. This isn’t the first case we got, and I’m sure it isn’t the last that the active army gets. Don’t get me wrong, active duty army has their own set of shit sippers and idiots…but this? C’mon. It’s ridiculous. Why are people like this?

Watch the episode here:

Until next time…

Inappropriately yours,

The Ball Pit

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Active Duty Army Artilleryman; avid Clash of Clans player; husband who thoroughly disgruntled his wife; creator/host of The Ball Pit on Facebook and YouTube; blog writer for Gruntworks; Twitter - @theball_pit; Instagram - @theballpit1; Facebook - @theballpit1; YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCikXVB14OJ_GA5xrV96KSfw Subscribe to the channel, like and follow on all the social media platforms above, and check out all of my blogs found here, and at Gruntworks!

1 comment on “TALES FROM THE WOOBIE – CHAPTER 9: The National Guard Sergeant (Part 3) [TRASH LAKE]

  1. Terry Poynter

    Not ALL of us were inept pus nutted dumbledorks. We knew enough to know we didn’t know enough. please stop lumping all NG NCO’s into the same dufflebag with this limp dicked clusterfuck.

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