Gruntworks Military Humor Safety

Weekend Safety Brief 15JUN18

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. – W.C. Fields


At Ease…rest.

Well, here we are just before another weekend. We celebrated the Army’s birthday a few days ago, and Sunday is Father’s Day – so I expect each one of you to at least give the Old Man a ring and tell him that you love him. On the other side of that – spend some quality time with your kids. Whether they are 10 or 30, you have been the role model for how to be a man, and how to treat a woman – and I hope you have made a good one, because that is you primary mission. That mission includes a lot of supporting actions, and those are as important as the whole. To protect, shelter, feed, nurture and teach are among the most important. All I am saying is that be a Dad to your kids – not just a sperm donor.

Some other important shit went down this week, as I am sure you are aware. The POTUS has made nice with Kim Dum Yum Yum, and it looks like the start of a peace process that will see an official end to the war that one of my Grandfathers fought in, and that many of you have had to monitor the armistice since. Say what one will about The Don, but the fact is that between him and Rodman, they have actually accomplished the first steps toward ending this 60-year standoff. I was one who was glad to see it happen.

On another note, the Army has decided to try to entice Staff Sergeants, Sergeants First Class, some Officers and Warrant Officers – specifically those that are qualified Recruiters and Instructors back into active service. Now I have a few theories about why no one wants to be a Recruiter or Instructor in today’s Army – and it all has to do with the toxic political climate in those fields. Anyway – if you meet the requirements and can put up with the bullshit – have at it.

The Army Wants YOU – Back…

Me? Oh HELL no. I love my job, my freedom, and my check every month. NOPE. Conversely, if they had a recall because of a total war or some such – of course I would go back. But to take a pay cut to go be an instructor and probably get hammered for saying something that “offends” someone – FUCK all of that.

Anyway – you fuckers act right this weekend; I really don’t want to have to explain to the Sergeant Major why one of you fuckers thought it was a good idea to play “Mission Impossible” at the MP station while trying to visit Meach… AGAIN.

Wrap that rascal!

Strippers are for fun, not for marriage.

Dependas are dangerous creatures – avoid if possible.

Don’t drink and drive.

Don’t do drugs.

Roll in fireteams or larger.

Check your whip properly before you road trip.

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times. – W.C. Fields



E. Michael Davis II, OMar, CPP, 1SG USA (Ret) served nearly 25 years in the United States Army as a Military Police Investigator. His work focused on Investigations, Anti/Counter-Terrorism Operations, Police Special Operations, Intelligence Operations and Force Protection with multiple Joint and Combined Commands. The impact of his work spanned the spectrum from tactical actions to strategic planning and engagement. In this capacity, he worked closely with nearly every security and law enforcement agency of the United States government, as well as dozens of police, security and intelligence agencies of friendly foreign governments. He experienced multiple combat tours in the Gulf War, Bosnia, Afghanistan, and three tours in Iraq. He is a recipient of two Bronze Stars and the Purple Heart amongst many other awards and honors. He earned a Bachelor's Degree in Military History, Graduate Certificate in Terrorism Studies and Master's Degree in Post 1945 Military History from the American Military University - all with honors. He is still active in the anti/counter-terrorism community as well as a freelance author, historian and blogger.

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