Gruntworks Military Humor Safety

Weekend Safety Brief 8JUN18

Don’t drink and drive – and definitely don’t get high and drive an M577.


At Ease – Rest.

Well, this week has been a clusterfuck. I thought Meach had finally gone completely crazy with that APC, but it turned out to be an LT from the National Guard. Nonetheless, I have to remind everyone that stealing a vehicle from the motor pool – while high – and then driving down the fucking interstate is UNSAT. Jeezuz. The shit I have to say because of idiots.

Welcome to summer – and hurricane season. Remember to drink water, and have your supplies ready for bad weather. DO NOT be that asshole who hears about a hurricane and waits until the last minute to rush down to the grocery store to buy batteries, milk and bread – just to find out that they are sold out. And about the milk and bread – you know you don’t keep that shit in the house normally, why THE FUCK are you buying it now? AND, since your dumb ass doesn’t have a generator because most of your paycheck goes to that 2018 Shelby Mustang GT500 that you bought at 28% interest, the milk is gonna go bad when the power goes out. Dumbass.

Anyway – the wars in the mid-east go on – although it looks like Israel is helping field test some of our latest gear, like the F35… and the Russians are realizing that their “unbeatable” anti-air assets are less than unbeatable. Likewise, the POTUS has played Kim Dum Yum Yum like a fucking fiddle and the talks are back on. Well played, Sir!

Product Block - Freedom Time 1
Check out our Freedom Collection in the store.

It’s a regular weekend – so be ready for PT Monday morning. I have an upcoming high-altitude expedition coming up and need to start training for that. SOOOOOO – we have a 12-mile ruck-march for PT. Yay, huh? Yeah, fuck me. Remember to PMCS your ghetto sleds.

Don’t drink and drive – and definitely don’t get high and drive an M577.

If she is wearing glitter, she is a stripper – and wants access to the PX – don’t do it!

Wrap that rascal if you do!

Don’t beat your wife or kick your dog.

IF you see PVT Berghdal in public…let’s just say that there may be a 4-day pass in it for proof of him “falling down” onto his face.

Platoon Sergeants – get them the fuck out of here.




E. Michael Davis II, OMar, CPP, 1SG USA (Ret) served nearly 25 years in the United States Army as a Military Police Investigator. His work focused on Investigations, Anti/Counter-Terrorism Operations, Police Special Operations, Intelligence Operations and Force Protection with multiple Joint and Combined Commands. The impact of his work spanned the spectrum from tactical actions to strategic planning and engagement. In this capacity, he worked closely with nearly every security and law enforcement agency of the United States government, as well as dozens of police, security and intelligence agencies of friendly foreign governments. He experienced multiple combat tours in the Gulf War, Bosnia, Afghanistan, and three tours in Iraq. He is a recipient of two Bronze Stars and the Purple Heart amongst many other awards and honors. He earned a Bachelor's Degree in Military History, Graduate Certificate in Terrorism Studies and Master's Degree in Post 1945 Military History from the American Military University - all with honors. He is still active in the anti/counter-terrorism community as well as a freelance author, historian and blogger.

1 comment on “Weekend Safety Brief 8JUN18

  1. Tennessee Budd

    In the Navy, we had shitbirds who were occasonally known to “fall up a ladder”–sounds like a gravitational impossibility, but it did somehow occur.
    I categorically refuse to discuss any involvement with such defiance of the laws of physics. I wasn’t even there, and it was some other sailor who did it, and you didn’t see me do it anyhow.

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