Gruntworks Military Humor Safety

Weekend Safety Brief 27APR2018

Remember that hookers and strippers don’t love you – especially if you are a creepy asshole.


At Ease! Rest.

MEACH! Push!

Look, apparently, this InCel (Involuntarily Celibate) stuff  is a thing. I suspect that the majority of these “victims” can’t get laid because they are creepy assholes.  Women don’t like creepy assholes.  In fact, people in general don’t like creepy assholes.  So when you sorry pieces of shit who can’t get laid in a whore house decide that you want to murder people – take a look in the mirror first.  You might just be a hideous chud – or a creepy asshole – or both.

MEACH! Mountain Climbers!

It reminds me of a workplace violence case that I worked this week. The suspect has a long history of getting into shit with just about everyone in her office. Recently, she cut off another driver (who happened to be a co-worker) as they got to work, and then jumped out and wanted to fight.  The suspect later made the statements the “These girls don’t know me, I will handle business.”  (Implying that she would kick all of their asses.)

MEACH! Flutter kicks!

My point is this – If, when going through your day, you meet an asshole – it’s no big deal, you met an asshole. If, when going through your day, EVERYONE you meet is an asshole, YOU are probably the actual asshole in the equation.  Try being nice for a change, it might make your day better.

MEACH! Iron Chair!

Ok you bunch of sissies, remember that after Monday morning PT, you have a Class A inspection. I want that shit squared away, polished, and properly set up.  That means you fuckers probably want to get with your squad leaders so you don’t show up all fucked up.

MEACH! Front Leaning Rest!

Remember that hookers and strippers don’t love you – especially if you are a creepy asshole.

Stay away from any chick that lives in a trailer park, or whose windows won’t go down on her car. Jes sayin.

If you wouldn’t lick it – you probably shouldn’t stick your dick in it.

Roll in fireteams.

Don’t start shit. If shit starts, finish it. Have an E&E plan.

Don’t drive drunk.

Don’t resist the cops.

OK – Platoon Sergeants, take charge.

MEACH, recover! Go see SGT P, he has some remedial training in the sawdust pit for you to do.




E. Michael Davis II, OMar, CPP, 1SG USA (Ret) served nearly 25 years in the United States Army as a Military Police Investigator. His work focused on Investigations, Anti/Counter-Terrorism Operations, Police Special Operations, Intelligence Operations and Force Protection with multiple Joint and Combined Commands. The impact of his work spanned the spectrum from tactical actions to strategic planning and engagement. In this capacity, he worked closely with nearly every security and law enforcement agency of the United States government, as well as dozens of police, security and intelligence agencies of friendly foreign governments. He experienced multiple combat tours in the Gulf War, Bosnia, Afghanistan, and three tours in Iraq. He is a recipient of two Bronze Stars and the Purple Heart amongst many other awards and honors. He earned a Bachelor's Degree in Military History, Graduate Certificate in Terrorism Studies and Master's Degree in Post 1945 Military History from the American Military University - all with honors. He is still active in the anti/counter-terrorism community as well as a freelance author, historian and blogger.

1 comment on “Weekend Safety Brief 27APR2018

  1. Tennessee Budd

    “Stay away from any chick that lives in a trailer park…”
    Shit, I have to tell her to move out?

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