Gruntworks Military Humor Safety

Weekend Safety Brief 20 OCT 2017

Everyone gather in, horseshoe up.

Meach – go get me a cup of Covfefe!

I wrote a long diatribe about Russiagate, Robert Spencer, the shitty state of the Federal Government and how social media has ruined polite discourse. BUT – fuck that. You guys don’t read this to hear about how disgusted I am with just about everyone – you want to hear about how disgusted I am with you shitbirds. You need a fucking safety brief.

Apparently the SMA is kicking around the idea of bringing back the old pinks and greens – which many old school and nostalgic types are all for. Some of you hate the ASU, and talk about “tradition” etc. etc. Here is the deal the US Army has ALWAYS had a blue uniform. Just because the daily or fatigue dress wasn’t blue does not mean that it didn’t exist. ALSO – some of you should look at the Navy or Marines – they have all kinds of different uniforms…and you old heads know damned well that even when we had the Pickle Suit, most of us opted for Blues if given a choice. Finally, uniforms change – they have since 1775 – and they are gonna continue to do so. So quit yer bitchin, try saving your uniform allowance when it hits your LES for FUCKING UNIFORMS instead of blowing it on a new gun or strippers and booze and get yourself right with the Army gods.

In other news – there is some debate about whether the POTUS was rude, or flip or didn’t know the name of SGT Johnson. Here is the no shit people. The POTUS says (and tweets) dumb shit sometimes. Sure. BUT, I guranfuckingtee that the DoD liaison that set up the calls for him had the Soldier’s full bios on the Resolute desk in front of The Don. So the story sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me.

Finally, if seems that the situation in Syria, Kurdistan and Korea are all still up for grabs. Who the hell knows anymore. Just keep you’re A & B bags squared away.

Well, I have a date with a bottle of Absinthe and some iced water, so lets wrap this up.

Don’t talk to strangers.

Don’t cross against the light.

Don’t forget to say your prayers.

Don’t eat your boogers.

Wash your dickbeaters.

Check for bedbugs.

Turn off the iron and stove.

Make sure you have $100 cash in your wallet.

Wear clean underwear.

Now beat it.

Platoon Sergeants, take charge of your platoons.



E. Michael Davis II, OMar, CPP, 1SG USA (Ret) served nearly 25 years in the United States Army as a Military Police Investigator. His work focused on Investigations, Anti/Counter-Terrorism Operations, Police Special Operations, Intelligence Operations and Force Protection with multiple Joint and Combined Commands. The impact of his work spanned the spectrum from tactical actions to strategic planning and engagement. In this capacity, he worked closely with nearly every security and law enforcement agency of the United States government, as well as dozens of police, security and intelligence agencies of friendly foreign governments. He experienced multiple combat tours in the Gulf War, Bosnia, Afghanistan, and three tours in Iraq. He is a recipient of two Bronze Stars and the Purple Heart amongst many other awards and honors. He earned a Bachelor's Degree in Military History, Graduate Certificate in Terrorism Studies and Master's Degree in Post 1945 Military History from the American Military University - all with honors. He is still active in the anti/counter-terrorism community as well as a freelance author, historian and blogger.

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