Gruntworks Military Humor Safety

Weekend Safety Brief 13 OCT 2017

Fall in!

At ease.

Listen up fucksticks. Because apparently people can’t behave, I am gonna go over a few things with you.  Meach, take notes – half of this shit applies directly to you.

First and foremost – don’t write anything down (to include online) or do anything to anyone else that you don’t want your grandma or a jury to read. Between the Clintons, The POTUS, half of the NFL, and Hollyweird, not to mention every mush brain on Faceyspacy and Instatwit – it should be apparent to all of you that shit WILL come back to haunt you.  Your Military or Veteran status will only compound how deviant your fucked up attitude or actions are to at least half of the United States.

The best advice I can give you is try to do the right thing, every time – even when no one is looking. Because, in this day and age, it’s likely that someone is, even if you can’t see them.  If you just stick to that maxim, you will have a whole lot less bullshit in your life – trust me on this, I have learned the hard way.

Finally, you all need to remember that no matter how fucked up a law or a situation with Law Enforcement is, aside from a lucky draw on a nullifying jury or an activist judge who agrees with you, or proving that it is unconstitutional in front of the SCOTUS, you will likely eat the shit sandwich that you made for yourself by being sideways with the law or law enforcement. Being polite, following orders and not breaking the law in the first place is the best way to not getting hemmed up or dead.  Showing your ass, fighting the police, and committing multiple violent felonies is a sure trip to prison or an early grave.  The best way to make a change is through education, legislation and the courts – not through meaningless protests aimed at the wrong people, “civil disobedience” that looks more like rioting, or arguing with the very people that oppose your point of view.  Calling someone a Nazi or a Libtard is not gonna convince them that they are wrong, it’s just gonna piss them off.  Unless that is your goal, you aren’t gonna accomplish anything else.

Ok – I am done preaching. You degenerates are gonna go do dumb shit and give zero fucks anyway, so fuck it.

Wear a condom.

Have an escape plan (or three)

Roll in Fire Teams.

Stay in your lane, and protect it.

Don’t be a douche.

Don’t beat your wife or kick your dog.

Don’t drink and drive.

Be back at 0500 Monday for a nice little walk through the woods – in full battle rattle and humping 40-pound rucks.

Now fuck off.


Platoon Sergeants, Take charge of your platoons.



E. Michael Davis II, OMar, CPP, 1SG USA (Ret) served nearly 25 years in the United States Army as a Military Police Investigator. His work focused on Investigations, Anti/Counter-Terrorism Operations, Police Special Operations, Intelligence Operations and Force Protection with multiple Joint and Combined Commands. The impact of his work spanned the spectrum from tactical actions to strategic planning and engagement. In this capacity, he worked closely with nearly every security and law enforcement agency of the United States government, as well as dozens of police, security and intelligence agencies of friendly foreign governments. He experienced multiple combat tours in the Gulf War, Bosnia, Afghanistan, and three tours in Iraq. He is a recipient of two Bronze Stars and the Purple Heart amongst many other awards and honors. He earned a Bachelor's Degree in Military History, Graduate Certificate in Terrorism Studies and Master's Degree in Post 1945 Military History from the American Military University - all with honors. He is still active in the anti/counter-terrorism community as well as a freelance author, historian and blogger.

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