Gruntworks Military Humor Safety

Weekend Safety Brief 23JUN17

Goooood Afternoon – Horseshoe up!

MEACH! I have the lower receiver of your M4. Since you could not be bothered to secure it, I have disassembled it and placed each part in a hidden location. Each location will have a clue to the next location. The first location is a freebie. You will low crawl during the entirety of this training evolution, except when climbing up staircases or ladders. Now crawl to the dumpsters behind the DFAC and locate your buffer spring submerged in the waste grease bucket adjacent to the dumpsters. MOVE OUT AND DRAW FIRE!

The rest of you – wow, what a week, huh? It seems that we can count on the CinC to tweet something…errrrm…”Interesting” at least once a week, so there is that. Meanwhile the NorKs continue to do Nork shit, Europe has a terrorist attack every other day, and our Congressional leaders have more infighting than the Syrian Civil War. The good thing is the French and Dutch cops are stopping some of the BS before it gets too bad.

Speaking of terrorism, did you guys see where that illegal “Canadian of Middle Eastern Origin” stabbed the cop up in Dearbornistan? How in the actual fuck is that Hajji not dead? Look – if a Hajji stabs you, your buddy, your family, or anyone around you in the neck, you have my permission to shoot the fucker until your gun goes “click.”

It looks like the Air Force and Navy are in a friendly contest of who can shoot the most shit down. However – I have bad news for the Zoomies, if it can’t shoot back it DOES NOT count as an air-to-air kill – so don’t go painting an Iranian flag under your canopy just yet. Unfortunately, all this turkey shooting over Iraq and Syria has led to Ivan the Bear getting pissy with us and the rest of NATO. Keep your eyes on the news for those fuck-fuck games to escalate.

You can’t Coexist…click here for our Coexist collection

Oh yeah –  Sadly, seven Sailors died because some Godzilla sized Nipponese tuna boat decided to go all Kamikaze on the USS Fitzgerald in the middle of the night. I have a feeling that some high-ranking squids are about to get shat upon from on high. I wonder if the Captain will have to do a FLIPL and end up with a stupid big statement of charges? Anyway, on a serious note, rest in peace to the poor freedom-loving swabbies who were killed, that really sucks.

Anyway –you guys make sure to be ready for that run Monday morning. 12 hours from bottle to throttle!

Don’t do illegal drugs or legal ones there weren’t prescribed to you!

No Domestics this weekend. Seriously. Even if she is shagging Jody.

If you are gonna Drink – don’t drive.

Roll in fireteams and keep your head on a swivel. Don’t start shit – but always finish it.

SGT P, you get to babysit Meach while he is on his scavenger hunt. Let me know when he finishes.
Platoon Sergeants, take charge of your Platoons.

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E. Michael Davis II, OMar, CPP, 1SG USA (Ret) served nearly 25 years in the United States Army as a Military Police Investigator. His work focused on Investigations, Anti/Counter-Terrorism Operations, Police Special Operations, Intelligence Operations and Force Protection with multiple Joint and Combined Commands. The impact of his work spanned the spectrum from tactical actions to strategic planning and engagement. In this capacity, he worked closely with nearly every security and law enforcement agency of the United States government, as well as dozens of police, security and intelligence agencies of friendly foreign governments. He experienced multiple combat tours in the Gulf War, Bosnia, Afghanistan, and three tours in Iraq. He is a recipient of two Bronze Stars and the Purple Heart amongst many other awards and honors. He earned a Bachelor's Degree in Military History, Graduate Certificate in Terrorism Studies and Master's Degree in Post 1945 Military History from the American Military University - all with honors. He is still active in the anti/counter-terrorism community as well as a freelance author, historian and blogger.

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