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Gruntworks Military Humor Safety

Weekend Safety Brief 12MAY2017

Gooooood Afternoon Gruntworks! Time for the Weekend Safety Brief.

Bring it in, smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.

Except you Meach – Iron Chair – time now – GO! Next time when I stomp on the fucking ground when mentioning drug tests, your dumb ass won’t end up begging SGT P to look the other way while you pee. I don’t know which one of you are more strange.

Well, this week has been a shitshow around the globe. Fortunately it looks like Kim Jun Yum-Yum has cooled his rockets. But there are still plenty of target rich deployment opportunities available for the intrepid traveler and harvester of souls.

It looks like Syria and Afghanistan are spinning back up as the CinC is determined to up the body count. So as usual, keep your A and B bag prepped. There is no telling where you may end up humping your 240B and bitching about the heat.

Did you hear that “Veteran” chick who murdered her Service Dog snuffed it? Well, I am totally against Veteran Suicide – but I am glad that twatwaffle is dead. In similar news, down in Florida another twatwaffe got convicted of 18 counts of fraud and tax evasion. Former U.S. Representative (D-FL), now Convicted Felon, Corrine “GO GATA!” Brown brought that shit on herself. I brought a video of her FINE legislative ability for your viewing pleasure. This the same week that Herr Direktor Comey got the “go to hell” from the CinC. The swamp is draining people.

Oh – speaking of crazy – make sure you all call your mothers Sunday (or better yet send flowers) and thank her for squeezing your big head out of her hoosker. I imagine that all of them were ruined judging from the hat sizes on your clothing records.

Well, that is all I have for now except for the standards.

Those nasty strippers DON’T LOVE YOU – but one might piss on your bed after a threesome. I suggest you don’t let them stay and pass out. Speaking of which – anyone have any Febreze?

If you are drinking, don’t drive – if you are driving, don’t drink.

Don’t do drugs – mainly aimed at you guys still serving. The rest of you, follow your local laws.

Remember that no means no – in fact, get her on camera saying yes.

Police up your buddies so the MPs don’t – I am sick of that snide assed Desk Sergeant calling me on the weekend.

Don’t beat your wife and don’t kick your dog.

Meach – Recover – and drink water. A LOT OF WATER. You are gonna need it.

The rest of you – GTFO.

Platoon Sergeants, take charge of your Platoons.

1SG Moriarti – OUT!

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E. Michael Davis II, OMar, CPP, 1SG USA (Ret) served nearly 25 years in the United States Army as a Military Police Investigator. His work focused on Investigations, Anti/Counter-Terrorism Operations, Police Special Operations, Intelligence Operations and Force Protection with multiple Joint and Combined Commands. The impact of his work spanned the spectrum from tactical actions to strategic planning and engagement. In this capacity, he worked closely with nearly every security and law enforcement agency of the United States government, as well as dozens of police, security and intelligence agencies of friendly foreign governments. He experienced multiple combat tours in the Gulf War, Bosnia, Afghanistan, and three tours in Iraq. He is a recipient of two Bronze Stars and the Purple Heart amongst many other awards and honors. He earned a Bachelor's Degree in Military History, Graduate Certificate in Terrorism Studies and Master's Degree in Post 1945 Military History from the American Military University - all with honors. He is still active in the anti/counter-terrorism community as well as a freelance author, historian and blogger.

2 comments on “Weekend Safety Brief 12MAY2017

  1. David Fairbanks

    Thanks for the posts TOP, God bless you n yours. Black 7 out

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