Gruntworks Military Humor Safety

Weekend Safety Brief 05MAY2017

Gooooood Afternoon Gruntworks! Time for the Weekend Safety Brief.

Bring it in – take a knee.

Meach, do pushups.

What? I don’t know what you did this time, and it doesn’t matter, because I am sure you did something.

The latest in the saga with Kim Yum-Yum of Best Korea is pretty funny. The ChiComs are teaching their troops EPW commands in Korean and the NorKs are actually talking shit to the ChiComs! We need to break out the popcorn, because if this keeps going it will be the best foreign policy effort in a LONG time for the US. Imagine Xi Jinping kicking off in Kim Yum-Yum Fatboy’s ass so we don’t have to!? That is a WIN-WIN.

On this side of things, we are seeing the nearly daily attack on our boys (and girls) in blue on the rise. As you know, we Back the Blue here, so show some support. Remember that a great many cops used to be Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines… so they should be your natural allies.

Along those lines, this week revealed a few May Day Commie/AntiFa protests – especially out West. However, Portland and LA PD took all the fun from the Alt-Knights and Proud Boys. Mainly because unlike Berkley PD – they don’t play those fuck-fuck games with smelly hippy protestors. Another Win-Win!WSB Uniform

I want to address something that I see occasionally out in town:  You motherfuckers wearing unauthorized kit with your uniform, or just wearing it plain wrong. Here is the thing – neither I, nor any other Senior NCO, wants to be a hard ass about simple shit. However, when you are all ate up like a fucking soup sandwich, it is a direct reflection on us as leaders. When you are in public, it is a direct reflection on the whole damned US Military. So let’s keep ourselves looking squared away. Wear your headgear when outside. Don’t carry unauthorized bags on your back like fucking Yoda. And don’t look like a football bat, or I will PT you to fucking death.

Every man’s life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.

Need I say it? Those nasty strippers DO NOT LOVE YOU.

If you are drinking, don’t drive – if you are driving, don’t drink.

Chop, we need you and SGT P to be observers Monday (stomp..STOMP) Fucking meat gazers. Heh.

Make sure you PMCS your jalopy before you road trip – check the tires, oil and water before you ride out.

NONE of you sign a lease or a payment purchase of ANY kind until you see your first line supervisor. I still haven’t gotten Meach out of that 30% interest car note.

Product Block Functional VetDon’t do drugs – seriously. (stomp-STOMP)

Remember that no means no – especially if she is your sister. You sick fucks.

Police up your buddies so the MPs don’t.

Don’t beat your wife and don’t kick your dog.

Meach – Recover. Now go set up for your car wash fundraiser. The first one is gonna be mine. And no – I ain’t payin.

The rest of you – scram.

Platoon Sergeants, take charge of your Platoons.

1SG Moriarti – OUT!



E. Michael Davis II, OMar, CPP, 1SG USA (Ret) served nearly 25 years in the United States Army as a Military Police Investigator. His work focused on Investigations, Anti/Counter-Terrorism Operations, Police Special Operations, Intelligence Operations and Force Protection with multiple Joint and Combined Commands. The impact of his work spanned the spectrum from tactical actions to strategic planning and engagement. In this capacity, he worked closely with nearly every security and law enforcement agency of the United States government, as well as dozens of police, security and intelligence agencies of friendly foreign governments. He experienced multiple combat tours in the Gulf War, Bosnia, Afghanistan, and three tours in Iraq. He is a recipient of two Bronze Stars and the Purple Heart amongst many other awards and honors. He earned a Bachelor's Degree in Military History, Graduate Certificate in Terrorism Studies and Master's Degree in Post 1945 Military History from the American Military University - all with honors. He is still active in the anti/counter-terrorism community as well as a freelance author, historian and blogger.

2 comments on “Weekend Safety Brief 05MAY2017

  1. David Fairbanks

    F or a moment there I thought you were an Infantry 1st SGT. Brought me back to days gone by. Blessings on you and yours. Keep yer powder dry and you knife(wit) sharp.
    Black 7 out

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