Alright fucksticks, this circus has gone on long enough and the audience has gotten tired of the clowns doing the same act for months on end. Your special snowflake brand of socialist revolution (black masks and tipped over trash cans) is sputtering out from underneath you. You’re not any more dedicated and disciplined at seeing this through than you were moving out of your parents’ guest bedroom after your “one semester off” 4 years ago. It’s time to take off the Doc Martins, wash your dreadlocks, remove the 9 facial piercings, and go get a job. You are not a revolutionary. You’re not changing the world. You WILL NOT win. All of your goals are stupid and you should do what you do best…quit. Until at least January 20th, 2021 Donald Trump is still going to be President; America is going to have a Capitalist, Market Economy; and working-class people are not going to fall in line with a bunch of spoiled middle-class college pussies LARP-ing as communist insurgents. Let me delve into this a bit deeper since all you chardonnay socialists clearly have a goddamn learning disorder… and no, your self-diagnosed ‘Autism’ does not make you “Neurodiverse” it makes you a hand-flapping puddle of mush.
First of all, your stupid fucking beliefs are incoherent at best. Your little red & black flag of ‘Anarcho-Communism’ might as well be a goddamn Bat-Signal that you were on a first name basis with the driver of the short bus as a kid. Anarchism is the complete lack of formal government. Communism is the complete ownership of all property by the State and a state-planned central command economy. You’re telling me you want a world with no government, no private property, and a centralized distribution system to manage all wealth and material necessities? You idiots somehow came to the conclusion that these polar opposite concepts are somehow compatible, and that a bunch of dope smokers that congregated in online blog forums will bring about your imagined utopia by trashing a Starbucks? What the fuck is wrong with you? With that level of brain damage, it’s like your mom tried to drown you as a baby in a bathtub full of bong water… Seriously, you people are complaining that the current socio-political system is so unfair you (or insert minority you claim to speak on behalf of collectively here) can’t succeed in it, and somehow people who can’t manage to make Assistant Manager at Best Buy have the wherewithal to form a completely new society? Really? I suppose your professors should get some blame here too. They’re really the ones who put these moronic ideas in your heads in the first place. The aging hippies of the 60’s and 70’s – people who never actually had to succeed in life, and never did – now occupy most of the senior positions within the American college professoriate simply because they stuck around long enough. These idiots weren’t qualified to do anything except political activism and hide in institutes of higher education where their bad ideas never actually had to prove themselves valid in order to survive. Three generations of stupidity and failure (with some help from the Soviet KGB psychological warfare division) just compounded them into the ‘Critical Theory’ and Cultural Marxism you got pushed into your “useful idiot” head by some sexagenarian hypocrite ignorance profiteer. Remember: those who can, do; those who can’t, teach. I think deep down you’re pissed off because you know you got scammed. After all, why would your brilliant Socialist and Communist professors charge all that money to fill your head with their ideas if they actually believed what they were saying? Why didn’t they do it for free? Instead of admitting you got screwed, you doubled down on your beliefs and projected your bad decisions onto the rest of the world. Now you’re playing Red-Rover with a dumpster in the Berkeley town square.
Now let’s get to the type of person you are. You’re a fucking loser, there’s no other way to put it. Losers always gravitate towards collectivism because they are too inadequate to succeed on their own. If you had to be an individual, people would see what a loser you really are, so you dress alike and hide behind group identities. I mean honestly, the most famous member of your movement is a chick who does two things with her life; drugs and post pictures of her hairy tuna canoe on the internet. Real compelling soldier for your fight against “Fascism”, especially after she got her shit rocked by that flying right cross. You imagine yourself to be “On the right side of history” and your delusions of grandeur help reinforce your sense of moral superiority. You envision yourself a great revolutionary fighting tyranny and “Fascism” manifested by President Trump and anyone else who finds themselves to the political right of Chairman Mao Zedong… Really you’re just lazy greedy fucks who don’t want to pay their student loans back. If you’re communist revolutionaries, you’ve got to be the best-fed ones in history. Peasants in the Russian revolution of 1917 were starving when they overthrew the Romanov aristocracy; Chinese peasants were being starved and massacred by the imperial Japanese when they revolted; you go to your protests on a full stomach courtesy of mommy’s debit card and the nearest Whole Foods. I watched one of your Black Bloc members get his shirt pulled off and the stretch marks looked like propeller scars on a goddamn manatee. Being a fat disgusting blob of shit is indicative of poor impulse control and laziness; character traits of low-functioning people. You are hypocrites of the highest order too, another trait of low-functioning people. You claim to hate racists and white supremacists and then spew tirades of anti-white hatred online, smugly proclaiming you “Can’t be racist to white people” because you changed the definition of ‘Racism’ to fit your agenda. You claim to hate authoritarianism, and then proceed to dictate what people are allowed to say, what people are allowed to think, which identities are allowed to have opinions on which issues, and threaten violence on anyone who disagrees with your stupid bullshit. The Nazis had Brown-shirts; you march around with the “Brown Berets” while claiming to hate Nazis… Maybe no one will notice the similarity of armed people in brown clothing demanding total compliance to their political beliefs? I’m sure you can’t help it though.
This movement makes you feel like you have a home and are valued, and that’s a powerful motivator, especially to a total loser like you. I know your kind. You’ve always existed in society and you’ve just found a new outlet for your angst that doesn’t make you feel like the impotent coward you are. If this was 15 years ago, you would be that kid who sat in the back of the class wearing a “Ramones” vintage band shirt (even though you didn’t listen to their music) you bought at Hot Topic, a dog chain, and black eye-liner. You played 3rd trombone in the marching band for a year before quitting, and most of your memories from high school were of sitting by yourself writing suicide notes you never actually intended to follow through on, and cutting yourself for attention to the new Evanescence album. Meanwhile your mom was busy ignoring you and humping your step-dad constantly in the hopes that his seed would produce a better child that wasn’t a total failure before all her eggs rotted. You were that dweeb who had two friends since middle school and each new year you reinvented yourself as some edgy fringe ideology, because you desperately needed some sort of validation that proved you weren’t completely inadequate. Tough shit, the cheerleaders still dated the athletes and didn’t hang with friendless malcontents who bragged about being an Atheist, an Anarchist, a Socialist, and a Marxist. You’re just a new version of the last generation’s stereotypical loser who found a group of similar losers to hang with. You traded cutting yourself for lamenting your “white privilege” on Facebook. You traded the Emo/Goth attire for unnatural hair colors and a made-up gender identity. You traded screaming that you hate your parents for throwing bricks at a Bank of America because you hate Republicans. It looks like you kept the drugs though.
I could go on all day about how pathetic you all are and how your bullshit movement is
just another way for you to escape the real world and your many, many, personal faults… but I have another message for you. Please get more violent. Please don’t learn anything from getting your asses kicked…and double down. Please, for the love of God, pick up an actual weapon and declare yourselves violent enemies of the state. Give us red-blooded Americans the justification to really give you what you’ve been asking for with your constant threats, arson, and violent outbursts. Let’s really turn this into an old-school Communist revolution! I dare you. I double dare you. A whole lot of grunts would absolutely love to get a stateside kill, and the fact you shitbags always vote against us and protest our existence makes it that much sweeter. We kill people, and you aren’t even people – you’re communist heathens. You cowards always talk a big game, but you always fail on the follow-through- even your proposition for California secession failed. I guess parasites can’t long survive without their host.
You started this new age of political violence and for a while no one opposed you. I’m sure sucker-punching people and pepper-spraying women was fun for you while it lasted. Now however, there are those among your opposition prepared to meet your aggression in kind in defense of American ideals and the greatest document of human freedom ever created; the US Constitution. Your days of ganging up to beat people and pepper-spraying women with impunity are over. You think you’re on the right side of history and the masses are with you… What are you waiting for pussies? Let’s see what communism in blue hair and skinny jeans is all about.
I’ll say it again; shit or get off the pot.
– Iron Mike