Alright you bunch of slack jawed troglodytes, ya’ll horseshoe it up. Time for your favorite, the Weekend Safety Brief!
Meach! – Front/Back, GO!
Where the hell are SGT P and Chop?
Probably disappearing another midget hooker. Bastards. If any of you see them, let them know that I *will not* go down to the PMO to retrieve their sorry asses for that bullshit again. Unless of course those two female MPs from “Stripes” are there – then, maybe…
Now down to business. As I am sure that you Jarheads know, today is National Crayon Day – and no, you don’t get released early. Also this week, our Tommy brothers found out that they are officially leaving the EU with the Brexit. I don’t know what that means, but as long as we are still on the same side as the Brits, I don’t really care. Oh yeah, which one of you fuckers suggested to the SMA that POGs need an “Expert” Badge? Do we look like the fucking Bundeswehr?Only two types of Joes need to be identified as “Expert” and that is a Grunt and a Medic – and that is so I can know who to trust when shit goes down. That being said, we are having a diagnostic PT test and Skill Level 1 testing Monday morning in prep for the next EIB Test.
This weekend is NOT and extended one and you best be ready to bust your miserable hump on Monday!
That being said, Meach – you have Staff Duty, with ME this weekend – pass revoked.
The rest of you, remember:
Roll in Fireteams.
Don’t fuck your buddy.
Don’t fuck your buddy’s wife.
Don’t beat your wife.
Don’t do drugs (I’m lookin’ at you Meach!)
Don’t Drink and Drive – If the MPs catch you, I will PT your ass from the PMO all the way to the Battalion CSM’s office.
STRIPPERS DO NOT LOVE YOU.
Meach – RECOVER! Now go find Chop and let him know that you are ready to wash his UH60.
Now move out and draw fire, fucksticks – I don’t want to see even one of you until 0500 Monday.
1SG Dickie OUT!